Setting boundaries for the holiday season.

Written by Elle Steele – PDA VIC Director

Boundaries.

It’s a bit of a buzzword isn’t it? 

I remember hearing it from my psych. She said to me “Elle, you have no boundaries. This is why you feel the way you do. Let’s fix that.”

Even though I’d been an athlete for so long, boundaries had never really played a huge part in the lead-up and recovery from training or any major event, or so I thought. If I think back now, I probably was doing my fair share of it, but it all related back to swimming so it was never a holistic approach.

During the 13 years I was on the Australian team, I had colds, my nose was always running, I had dry skin and aches all over from pushing my body to the limit. But now, I’ve learnt to be a LOT more balanced in my ‘pushing’ with daily self-care practices in place so that I can at the very least get up the next day. For me, self-care and boundaries go hand in hand. I want to share some self-care tips with you for the end of year holidays. 

  1. Learn to say ‘no’. 
    Yep, I’m starting off with a big f..ing NO. You know why? You are worth more than doing the things you hate. You are worth more than hanging out with people who are toxic. And you are worth more than watching negative shows or anything that makes you feel anxious. The same goes for seeing people over the holiday period that you don’t feel so great around or doing things that make you feel uncomfortable. Just because you’ve always done something, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. 

  2. Don’t count your calories.
    Yep, I said it. Do.not.weigh.your.food.you.are.not.a.race.horse. Our bodies change all the time. Don’t hold yourself to something that was yesterday or could be in your future. Enjoy you now. Stop trying to be something else or have a different number on the scales. You’re doing amazing. I used to be 53kgs and I was never happy, I was sick all the time and my mindset was terrible. Now, I know I’m carrying some weight, but my insides, mind, and body are getting healthier every day and the most important thing is I love who I am, in the now, all of it. No amount of food weighing will make up for any lack of self-acceptance. Enjoy the food over the holidays and love yourself enough to eat what makes you feel good

  3. How you finish you year of work isn’t how it’s always going to be. Well, 2020 was fun wasn’t it? Remember, if you finished the year slightly ‘less than’ you’d hoped doesn’t mean squat. You’re on an adventure. You haven’t reached your final destination yet. Think 2021 is for creating connections. Creating content. Creating a life that you don’t need a holiday from. This includes having really strong boundaries for yourself in your life all year round. My advice to you is “always follow joy, in all that you do.”

  4. Self-care looks different to everyone.
    There is no right or wrong way to self-care or set boundaries. I was once told that resting my body and watching a movie wasn’t the ‘right’ way to do self-care. I’m sorry, who said it wasn’t? The self-care police? P.S If you’re still hanging with the self-care police, please refer to point 1).

  5. Take time out from all the noise at least once a day.
    Meditation comes in different forms, so you do “you”. Whatever feels best for you and allows you to switch off and breathe, this is the best way for you to meditate. This may evolve over time, but if it doesn’t then that’s also ok. Some days I meditate to silence. Some days I draw. Some nights I light candles, pump ancient drumming music and dance. Some days I swim. Some days I chant. Whatever makes you feel good is what’s best.

Now, go and do what makes you feel good over the holidays.  

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